So this blog is a little different because it's page from the journal that I use to write to God. It's not grammatically correct, and it may not completely make sense. However, it shows a piece of my journey with God, and I felt compelled to share.
Dear God,
I feel like Carvens Lissaint when he spoke in his poem "I found the Lord in this microphone and I loved Him, I loved Him fiercely." There's a beauty and vulnerability about that statement that I ache to learn. Then I found the spirit of Rudy Francisco on YouTube, and I began to see you and feel you and worship you. And it is a beautiful touching experience. I didn't go to church today, but instead I stayed and talked to you. And I feel our conversations growing. But more than anything I feel you, and it makes me feel like I'm strong enough to run from here to DC to New York to the Ocean and back again and barely break a sweat. That's my spirit. I feel it, I see it, and it Glows!
This entry is extremely important to me because at the end of this year I was in a hard place. I was struggling internally with a lot of things including God. Not only did I not feel his presence around me, but I was angry with Him and didn't really want to be around His presence. I was in a hard and low place. And truth be told I'm still dealing with some of that. However, on the day of this entry I spent about the full day soaking in the presence of God in a way that I had not experienced Him before. I used to describe my relationship with God as me being a child in his presence, and He being my Father who looked after me. However, that day I hung out with God like He was my best friend that I could not get enough of....wow...things are different now. And I can smile about that :-)
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