Today I Rode a Bike!

Childhood is so much fun! Growing up most of my memories consist of being outdoors, running around, playing with my twin and friends down the street, and of course riding my bike everywhere. The summer before I started the third grade I moved from Salisbury, Maryland to Longview, Texas. That summer was only a continuation of childhood, anything that involved being outside and playing I was there! However, a couple months in the school year my parents noticed I was walking with an unusual limp. I remember the first day of the hospital. I remember the big machine that surrounded my entire body that lit up and circulated around my leg. I remember the simple walls with nothing artistic to engage an 8 years olds sense of boredom. But mostly I remember the serious expressions and moods of the doctors and my parents as they waited for the results of the MRI. That’s the day I learned what the word tumor and cancer meant.

You know what’s strange about having cancer? It’s supposed to be a physical battle of your body fighting to survive against the odds of a powerful disease. However, in the midst of my body undergoing treatment and changes additionally I was having mental and personality changes. My childhood consisted of outdoors, or maybe I should say pre-cancer childhood. Post cancer the outdoors was something I pretended didn’t mean anything to me. Pre-cancer I grew up on the east coast close to the ocean and I adored the water. Post-cancer, I didn’t want to get my hair wet or get too hot from being outside swimming. What happened to my previous self? Even after I finished treatment why did all those activities I used to love not resurrect and celebrate life with me?

I have learned over the years that I have convinced myself of too many things I “can’t” do because I look different doing them. Wearing a prosthesis makes running looks different on me. Additionally, though I love the ocean if I get in the water I have to take my prosthesis off, and I don’t want people to see me that vulnerable. Mental and personality changes continued to harm me years after the physical tumor had been removed from me.

But guess what happened just 4 days ago?? I was in the gym with my personal trainer and she said I want you to try using a bike to exercise. I looked at the bike, and in that moment I knew what Sarah felt like when she heard God was going to give her a child. I laughed at my capabilities. My prosthesis comes so high up that the movement a bike calls for has been limited from me since I was 9 years old. I knew this was not a workout I would be able to incorporate. Still, I got on the bike, and watched as the seat and handles were adjusted to fit me better. And then…I rode the bike! I did an activity I haven’t done since I was soo much younger. Today once again I was reminded when I live a life of self doubt and fear it only closes doors of opportunities that I once loved. I must continue to remind myself I can do all things through God who strengthens me! The last time I rode a bike was at 9years old and since I've had a prosthesis I told myself I can no longer do this previously loved activity...BUT TODAY I rode a bike!!!